Translate

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Black Cat Mojo by Adam Howe [5 stars]






 


From the Description
 
In these three novellas of blackly comic crime and creature horror, you’ll go slumming with well-endowed dwarf porn stars, killer badgers, redneck mama’s boys, morbidly obese nymphomaniacs, dumbass dog-nappers, trailer trash Jesus freaks, diarrheic Jack Russell terriers, not-so-wiseguys, mob-movie memorabilia collectors, junkie blackmailers, and giant man-eating Burmese pythons.

 


OF BADGERS & PORN DWARFS

 
To pay back a gambling debt and avoid being castrated, washed-up dwarf porn star Rummy Rumsfeld (of Snow White spoof Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Up Your Ass We Go) must overcome a geriatric pederast, redneck pornographers, a morbidly obese nymphomaniac with serious personal hygiene issues, the ghost of his religious zealot mother, a dwarf-eating badger, and George Lucas.



JESUS IN A DOG’S ASS

 
Dumbass desperadoes Hootie and Poke incur the wrath of a trailer trash church group, not to mention God, when they kidnap a Jack Russell Terrier with the figure of Jesus Christ in its butt.




FRANK, THE SNAKE, & THE SNAKE

 
After testifying against notorious mob boss "Snake" Cobretti, embittered ex-wiseguy Frankie "The Tin Man" Piscopo emerges from Witness Protection to embark on a disastrous drug deal that leaves him fighting for his life against a giant Burmese python with a taste for Italian-American.

 


BONUS SHORT STORY
 
 
 
 
THE MAD BUTCHER OF PLAINFIELD'S CHARIOT OF DEATH

 
Washed up carny buys Ed Gein's car hoping to reverse his bad luck. . . but the real horror was just getting revved up . . .

 

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This is in no way reflected in my opinion of this collection.

 

After reading Die Dog Or Eat The Hatchet by Adam Howe I couldn't wait to read Black Cat Mojo. I was a little worried that it wouldn't be as good but my fears were for nothing. Black Cat Mojo was just as side-splittingly funny and twisted. These novella's are definitely not safe for those who prefer their comedy/horror to be meek and mild but if your funny bone is as warped as mine you're in for a treat with this book. Of Badgers and Porn Dwarfs had me cackling with laughter. This is one seriously demented tale that is reminiscent of books by Edward Lee. The dog-nappers in Jesus In A Dog's Ass are straight out of dumb crook news. I don't know if I felt sorrier for Poke or Scooter in this hilarious caper. Frank, The Snake, & The Snake has hands down the best name for a snake ever. I'm totally stealing it if we get a pet snake in the future! This collection ends with a bonus short story, The Mad Butcher Of Plainsfield's Chariot Of Death. This is a fantastically creepy little ghost story! If you haven't read anything by Adam Howe yet you're missing out, run to your nearest bookseller and get some!! I highly recommend this darkly twisted and deviant 5 star read.

 


Buy the Book

 

Amazon        Barnes & Noble

 

 

About the Author
 
 
 
 

Adam Howe writes the twisted fiction your mother warned you about. A British writer of fiction and screenplays, he lives in Greater London with his partner and their hellhound, Gino. Writing as Garrett Addams, his short story Jumper was chosen by Stephen King as the winner of the On Writing contest, and published in the paperback/Kindle editions of SK’s book; he was also granted an audience with The King, where they mostly discussed slow vs. fast zombies. His fiction has appeared in Nightmare Magazine, Thuglit, The Horror Library, Mythic Delirium, Plan B Magazine, and One Buck Horror. He is the author of two collections, Black Cat Mojo and Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, plus the eBook single, Gator Bait. Future works include Tijuana Donkey Showdown, One Tough Bastard, and a crime/horror collaboration with Adam Tribesmen Cesare.

You can find him on Goodreads, Facebook, and Twitter

 

 


Praise for Black Cat Mojo

 

"It's almost as if someone smashed Dashiell Hammett's seamless noir patter, Elmore Leonard's pitch-perfect ear for hapless characters, Quentin Tarantino's sardonic sense of irony and Clive Barker's unflinching portrayal of sexual pain/pleasure into a blender, mixing in a heaping helping of Stephen King's pop culture mise-en-scene framing. Howe bobs and weaves, pulling it all together in a denouement that is as satisfying as it is completely unexpected." Walt Hicks for Hellnotes


 
"Gloriously offensive, fast-paced and funny, only the animals come through with their dignity almost intact, although Howe does betray some affection for his cast of dead-enders in each selection. So if you're tired of all that respectable, snooze-worthy shit with silhouettes on the cover, try something like this, a book best consumed on the subway in a paper bag, or at the zoo." David James Keaton, author of The Last Projector and Fish Bites Cop!


 
"Utterly compelling, uniquely twisted, and funny as hell, Black Cat Mojo is simply magnificent!" Adam Millard, author of Vinyl Destination and Hamsterdamned!


 
"Black Cat Mojo makes you feel like you've stumbled across a treasure trove filled with the stories Tarantino was too afraid to tell. Bizarro pulp of high quality, Adam Howe writes like Chandler on mescalinea mind altering read." S.R. Mastrantone, Shock Totem, Lamplight, Vignettes from the End of the World


 
"Adam Howe's stories are peopled with characters you might find in a Carl Hiaasen novel: wacky, outrageous, severely down-on-their-luck losers, who go to extreme means to try and improve their lot. You will either be laughing your head off or feeling slightly nauseous." Jerry Raine, author of Frankie Bosser Comes Home and Slaphead Chameleon.


 
"Raw, punky, and genuinely surprising." Stephen King, on Jumper (featured in On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft)


 
"What would happen if you took the witty dialogue of Miller's Crossing, the humor of early Peter Jackson, the pacing of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and flung it all together into a literary miracle that the world needs to read like Right Now? You would have Adam Howe's unforgettable and un-putdownable debut Black Cat Mojo ..." Elias Siqueiros, Fantastic Horror, Tattered Souls Vol.2, A Hacked Up Holiday Massacre, author of The Heart Of An Animal